Recently I talked about five reasons sex hurts vaginas sometimes to which some commenters were like, ‘But what about the penises?’ It’s true. Sex can hurt penises too.
Statistically, the most common reason for people with penises to have painful sex, which is a bit of a tongue twister, is something called Peyronie’s Disease. It’s a build-up of scar tissue and plaque, which leads to a curvature of the penis, which then leads to painful intercourse. If your penis looks more like this, you might want to go see your urologist.
Next, up for uncircumcised penis-havers, phimosis and paraphimosis can lead to painful intercourse. In the case of phimosis, when the penis becomes erect, the foreskin won’t fully retract. In the case of paraphimosis, when that erect penis begins to detumesce, the foreskin won’t fully recover the old glans.
If you’re ever heard one of those jokes about a guy popping some Viagra and then having an erection that just won’t go away already. The punch line is priapism. Not so funny sounding now is it. These painful erections that will not go away and usually require medical treatment might, in fact, be caused by Viagra or other medications, but it might also be linked to blood disorders or genital injury. Either way that is an erection that you probably don’t want. To avoid such side effects, it’s better to try some natural male enhancement supplements like Sinrex, Prosolution Plus or Extenze. These medications increase erection so you can control your arousal.
In the same way, they can cause painful sex for people with vaginas; skin disorders can also lead to painful sex for people with penises. Skin conditions including psoriasis, balanitis and dermatitis can all irritate the skin particularly on the head of the penis leading then to painful sex.
Finally, bedroom moves gone horribly wrong can lead to probably the most painful sex of your life, because, oh my god, you just fractured your penis. You know, you fractured your penis, when you hear a popping sound followed then by discoloration and swelling of the penis. Statistically, they’re quite rare, but they do happen and, in fact, in one study that I was looking at, one guy fractured his penis simply because his pants were too tight. If you do fracture your penis, though, it’s important that you go to the hospital as soon as possible, because if left untreated, a fractured penis can lead to erectile dysfunction.
How often do men think about sex?
A recent study published in the journal Current Biology, suggests that male brains might be programmed to prioritize sex over food. While that finding in Current Biology came from a study of microscopic roundworms, which scientists have used for a long time to better understand our nervous systems, the researchers nonetheless found it compelling, that the male roundworms choose to seek out mates, rather than food sometimes to their existential detriment. There wasn’t some kind of patriarchal parasitical culture leading those male roundworms to seek out Lady roundworms, which actually more like intersex roundworms biologically speaking, it was a genetic difference. All of which clumsily segues into this question of for human males, how much are they thinking about sex.
There’s an often-cited but dubious statistic that men think about sex every seven 7 seconds, which adds up to twelve thousand three hundred and forty-two sexy thought every twenty-four hours. However, a 2011 study out of Ohio State University finally put that seven-second sexy thought statistic, which is a little bit hard to say to bed. The study methodology was pretty straightforward. A group of male and female students kept track of every time they thought about either sex, food, or sleep, over a week long period. Not surprisingly men did think about sex more often than women, but they weren’t thinking about it over twelve thousand times a day. According to that Ohio State study, men, or at least college men in the Midwest, think about sex a median eighteen times per day, compared to women, who are still thinking about sex ten times a day. What’s up ladies, we like it too. High five. That median was plotted in a range from one time per day all the way up to three hundred eighty-eight times per day, to which dude are you doing okay in school?
But one interesting finding that relates back to that roundworm study is that the median number of sexy thoughts men had was equal to the median number food-related thoughts men had, suggesting that guys, yes you are more evolved and highly complex than roundworms. What do you think about more, sex or food, or is it equal? As for me, the pie chart of my thought time, well there’s a reason why I call it a pie chart. Because there’s a lot of pie involved.